Passion vs. Paying the Bills

It looks like this weeks letter is P. Priorities, Passion, Paying bills.

I guess today's title should be Passion AND Paying the Bills. Trying to live life passionately and pay the bills at the same time.

Every once in a while Grant and I sit and talk about our "ideal" life - where we want to live, what we want to do for income, what our house would be like, etc. And sometimes we want to just pick up and go, and start living our "dream".

And then we remember we have 2 kids. Who depend on us for food, shelter, etc. And really, it's not like our life right now is bad. At all. It's actually quite nice. Grant has a good job, works with great people in an interesting company with great benefits, we rent a cute little house in a nice neighborhood not far from Grant's work.

Even just typing all that, I feel guilty for even thinking I want anything different for my life, because really we are so blessed. But I do want something different, I really do. I want to live somewhere my boys can run outside and build forts and ride bikes and climb trees. I want Grant around more. I want to be close to other people who want the same things we want for our families. I want to be closer to family.

So here's where I struggle. How do I "advance confidently in the direction of my dreams" while still being grateful, responsible, and passionate today? Is there a point where you need to decide THIS is your reality, and you need to stop trying to create another one? I do feel like I am often waiting for the stars to align to start this-that-or-the-other, and I need to start using my time more wisely and doing some of the things I want to do today. So I guess thats a start.

This post is very dis-jointed. And I don't have a nice paragraph to wrap it up. But I'm still mulling it over.

For now I'm going to end with a quote again, by Thoreau.
“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler"

So here's to simplification.