One night as I was trying to get dinner on the table Jefferson was telling me about an episode of something he had watched on PBS kids. He was explaining each scene of the show in detail, and I have to admit I was not really listening as I worked around the kitchen. I stopped him, and asked him to clear his project off the dinner table and put his shoes in the closet. He did those things, then came back, paused, then looked at me and declared "You made me forget what I was saying to you! My thoughts are fragile, you can't stop me when I'm in the middle of telling you something!"
I love how he phrases things.
Several times recently I've seen this quote floating around the internet:
"Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big. Because to them, all of it has always been big stuff" Catherine M. Wallace
Sadly, I have always been much better at making noise then listening. From the time I was little I've been a non-stop chatter-box. I remember my grandma always saying "You just never stop talking!"
Jefferson takes after me in that way, and processes things by talking through them. He wakes up talking and falls asleep mid-sentence sometimes, and then talks in his sleep during the night.
I'm trying to figure out ways to set times of when I can give full attention to him and still encourage him talking to me, but also have some time when I am "off the clock", if that makes sense. I don't feel capable of "listening eagerly" all day (I wish I did!!), but I do want him to feel loved and like I want to hear things that are important to him.
I am wondering if I set aside small portions of time where I'm listening to him with all my attention, if he will feel heard enough then that he won't feel as needy at the other times? For now that is going to be my goal, a set "Jefferson" time each day when my focus is just him, and then see how that goes and go from there.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Being Happy Now
Today in church in Relief Society (our womens group) we talked about this talk.
Two things really struck me. The first thing she focused on was the enabling power of the atonement, which she said is also called Grace. Recently I've been feeling frustrated at the slowness of change in my life. I just couldn't see that I was making forward progress, even though I really desired and was trying for change.
I think in the past whenever I heard or read the word "grace" I viewed it as a form of pity. Because God felt bad for us, He would still love us, even as imperfect as we were. Today I realized that it is not a form of pity, but a source of power. Because God loves me, He wants me to be powerful and whole, as He is. Further, He knows precisely what I need to become that way, and He offers me His grace to enable me to accomplish that change in ways that I couldn't on my own.
I loved this quote from Elder David Bednar that the teacher used:
"The gospel of the Savior is not simply about avoiding bad in our lives; it also is essentially about doing and becoming good. And the Atonement provides help for us to overcome and avoid bad and to do and become good. Help from the Savior is available for the entire journey of mortality—from bad to good to better and to change our very nature." (from this talk)
The second thing that struck me was when we talked about this principle: "All that is unfair in life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ".
The teacher talked about what being "made right" means. That it's not just that we can survive hard things, and in the next life all will be well. But that through the atonement, in THIS life, His love can truly make all things right. It won't solve all our problems, but we can be just as happy and just as full of love as if our lives were "perfect". I realized that often I put off happiness, saying "after such-and-such happens, I will feel so much happier", but it really struck me that I will never be any happier than I am today. Or I guess I should say my capacity for peace and happiness in my life is complete today, that through Christ I can have full joy in my life today, and it's a choice I need to make, not something external that needs to happen in my life.
I am feeling very grateful today for God's love for me, for His patience and continued reaching out and lifting up. I feel hopeful that through His love I CAN change, and can become a better, kinder person, more like Him.
Two things really struck me. The first thing she focused on was the enabling power of the atonement, which she said is also called Grace. Recently I've been feeling frustrated at the slowness of change in my life. I just couldn't see that I was making forward progress, even though I really desired and was trying for change.
I think in the past whenever I heard or read the word "grace" I viewed it as a form of pity. Because God felt bad for us, He would still love us, even as imperfect as we were. Today I realized that it is not a form of pity, but a source of power. Because God loves me, He wants me to be powerful and whole, as He is. Further, He knows precisely what I need to become that way, and He offers me His grace to enable me to accomplish that change in ways that I couldn't on my own.
I loved this quote from Elder David Bednar that the teacher used:
"The gospel of the Savior is not simply about avoiding bad in our lives; it also is essentially about doing and becoming good. And the Atonement provides help for us to overcome and avoid bad and to do and become good. Help from the Savior is available for the entire journey of mortality—from bad to good to better and to change our very nature." (from this talk)
The second thing that struck me was when we talked about this principle: "All that is unfair in life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ".
The teacher talked about what being "made right" means. That it's not just that we can survive hard things, and in the next life all will be well. But that through the atonement, in THIS life, His love can truly make all things right. It won't solve all our problems, but we can be just as happy and just as full of love as if our lives were "perfect". I realized that often I put off happiness, saying "after such-and-such happens, I will feel so much happier", but it really struck me that I will never be any happier than I am today. Or I guess I should say my capacity for peace and happiness in my life is complete today, that through Christ I can have full joy in my life today, and it's a choice I need to make, not something external that needs to happen in my life.
I am feeling very grateful today for God's love for me, for His patience and continued reaching out and lifting up. I feel hopeful that through His love I CAN change, and can become a better, kinder person, more like Him.
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