Batman

I finished listening to the This American Life podcast called Batman today - it was fantastic and really left me thinking.

The main theme was expectations and how they impact people, and balancing protecting our children with limiting their growth. It really gave me a lot to think about. Today we went to a place where they have a whole bunch of swing sets and trampolines and play equipment and the kids can just run free playing on whatever they want. I tried to be more conscious about my fears and expectations and stand back a little more and let the boys do their own thing without me interfering.

There was one time when Jefferson was trying this balance rope thing, and the first couple times he tried it he fell off right away. Instead of calling out "Be careful!" or trying to give instructions on how he should do it, I tried to think how I could be encouraging but not bossy, so I said "Those were good tries. I bet if you keep trying you'll find a way to get across that". And he did keep trying, and then he gave up for while, and then went back to it later, and before we left he was walking across the whole rope. And it wasn't the way I would have done it, but he figured it out, and he was proud of himself.

The most painful part of listening to the podcast and my experience today was realizing how often in the past I have been over-protective when my kids needed me to stand back, and even more painful, how often I have not been protective of the things that I really do need to protect - their little hearts. I will be so occupied trying to keep them "safe" physically, but I won't think twice before saying a sharp word when they make a mess or a mistake. It really hurts for me to realize how often I have fallen short, but I'm trying to be more mindful of the things I should be protecting, and the things I should be letting them figure out on their own.