Sometimes as a parent I have a really hard time knowing when to give in and when to stand fast to a "rule".
Today I have 2 cases which I can't figure out if I should hold 'em or fold 'em.
Character t-shirts and honey nut cheerios.
First cheerios. I grew up in a house that rarely ate cold cereal. Actually only on Sunday mornings. and we had 2 cereal choices - plain cheerios and corn flakes. Sometimes on extra special occasions (like camping or something) we'd have kix.
Jefferson won't eat cold cereal at all, but Duncan likes it, and recently, with me sleeping more than usual, we've been having it for breakfast a couple times a week. So I generally just pull out the cheerios and rice krispies in the morning, and then let Duncan choose which one he wants. So my problem comes in here - Grant, who grew up in a lucky charms/cap'n crunch house, doesn't like plain cereal much, so I buy honey nut cheerios for him. Well, on Sunday Grant was eating honey nut cheerios, and Duncan wanted some cereal, so he gave him a bowl.
Then this morning I went into the kitchen and asked Duncan if he wanted some cereal, and he said "no" and ran into our room. Grant asked him if he wanted some cereal, and he said "Yes, big cereal". Grant takes him in the kitchen, pulls out rice krispies and plain cheerios, and asks him which he wants, and he says "No! Big Cereal!!!" So Grant pulls out honey nut cheerios, and Duncan says "Yes!". I'm not entirely sure why honey nut cheerios are big cereal to him, but now I feel like if I let him start eating honey nut cheerios he'll never eat the less-sweet cereal again. But I don't know if I'm just being dumb, and it really doesn't matter. I mean, cold cereal in general is not exactly a health food, so does it really matter if he's eating plain cheerios vs honey nut?
Then t-shirts. For some reason I really don't like character t-shirts, and I think until yesterday I've never bought my kids any clothes or shoes with characters on them. I guess I've bent the rule a bit when it comes to free shirts/shoes/toys we've gotten from Animal Planet/Discovery Channel, but I'm pretty strict about disney characters and the like. And now that I am typing this out I can't even clearly say why I dislike them so much.
But when we were at the ward campout last week, one of the mom's was talking about how her son had a hard time going up to new kids and making friends, so for his first day of preschool she bought him a pair of Thomas the Train shoes that made "Choo choo!" noises when you walk, and the treads on them looked like train tracks, and a Thomas the Train t-shirt. And she said it worked. Kids would walk up and be like "I like thomas the train." And her boy would say "me too". And it gave them a reason to talk to each other, which led to making some friends.
I admit, I'm nervous about Jefferson making friends in Kindergarten. When we are places with lots of kids he doesn't know well he will often just stay by me, and ask me to come play with him. I'll tell him he can join in playing with the other kids, but he feels like he needs a personal invitation from someone, and won't join unless he happens to get one.
Now I don't think Thomas the Tank would get Jefferson very far in Kindergarten, but Jefferson loves the wii. Much more then I wish he did. Enough that most days I just want to get rid of our wii. But I admit it's kind of saving me this pregnancy, because I really can't seem to make it through the day without a nap, and I need something to keep him occupied while Duncan and I nap, and so it's usually wii. His favorite game is Super Mario Galaxy, which he can talk about for hours. Literally.
Yesterday I was looking online for sales for school clothes for Jefferson, and he was looking over my shoulder, and he saw a Mario t-shirt, and he said "Oh cool, they have shirts with Mario on them!". And so last night for a surprise I bought him a Mario t-shirt for his first day of school. But now I'm doubting myself, wondering if its a dumb idea and I'm starting down a slippery slope to... What? I guess just commercialization in general is what I want to avoid, but it's so prevalent in todays world, I don't know if I'm being a stickler over something dumb and unimportant.
So what would you do in these cases??
5 comments:
I will send you an email with my full comments, but I totally know what you mean about trying to decide when to be strict and when to give in. Joyous decisions.
S used to eat honey nut cheerios, now he just throws them on the floor and wants a spinach smoothie instead. So maybe his tastes will change?
Super Mario shirt = AWESOME! I think you are doing a great job as a mom! I look up to you!
Let's talk! Let me know if I can watch your boys for an afternoon.
Hi - I'm a coworker of Grant's - hope you don't mind him sharing this. I'm a mom too and I must say not only can I relate to these cases I have to say you've inspired me to write more because your post is like right out of my daily dialog I have with myself as a mom. So case one - I think you're ok with Honey Nut Cheerios because they are really not that sweet compared to the Capt'n Crunches of the world but totally understand your concern for opening the door to sweeter and sweeter things.
The story about the character shirts is so precious! I totally worry about the commercialization thing too but unfortunately I'm even so desensitized to it at this point that sometimes I don't even realize how bad it is. My general rule on this one is we allow our son (who's 3) to watch certain shows like Dora/Diego, Dinosaur Train, Sesame Street of course, Word World... the basic PBS and Nick Jr. lineup but what I try to do in the stores and even at the library is not buy anything related to what he's allowed to watch on TV. Am I perfect at this NO WAY because hate to say it just got him a big boy bed and his sheets are Cars 2 themed... yikes! But I try! Thanks for this forum - I hope I can continue to follow.
wait Anna, I had another idea. mix his honey nut cheerios half and half with regular cheerios....i do that with O whenever he begs and begs for juice...it's usually about 1/8th juice.
i would have never given him juice in the first place, but Pepe started him on it :)
I would like to think that what I kids will come away with in the end is what we are at the core. The specific choices we make do add up to something that matters, but there are so many little choices to counter a few that may not be ideal. Only you and Grant (and maybe Jefferson) know what these choices represent to the combined you (as a family). I would like to think your choices will generally line up with what you really care about enough to make create your family identity.
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